Bleh. Thinking about the evil tree of evil makes me gag. I was minding my own business, sleeping under the dining table (again) and then one human sat down to eat on the table. (I don’t know why humans use tables. Why can’t they eat off the ground. Humans are weird.) I sat up and looked at my human’s face hoping for some cheese or beef. I love beef. My human looked around and grabbed something from his plate. I was so excited! He plopped a piece of food on the ground in front of me. I sniffed it. It smelled like beef so I ate it. It didn’t look like beef. It looked like a small tree. I started chewing and spit it out. The baby beef tree tasted terrible. It was evil! It tricked me into thinking it was beef! I’m never eating that before. I ate it’s mama tree, though it was hard, and it tasted fine. It gave me sticks to chew and piles of leaves for me to jump on. I prefer the mama tree. Never again will I be fooled by the evil tree of evil again.

Yesterday, was the best day ever. I found a cheese crumb under the dining table. Oh, how delicious it was, The creamy delicacy that melts in my wet mouth. I thanked my human with a kiss.

Here’s how the day started. I was just minding my own business, sleeping under the dining table, waiting for my next meal. At the usual time everyday, they all gather around the dining table and drop crumb for me. Sometimes, if I am good boy, they give me bigger chunks.

After my humans went away, I ventured under the table. Oh, how many bread crumbs I found. but the cheese was the best ever. I’m suspicious that it was a lucky cheese because I got a super long belly rub afterwards. I still remember my human rubbing that itchy spot I can’t get by myself. I even got a chin scratch later. Dear lawd, that was the best day ever.